Foreknown: I Volunteered for This!
“Hello My Son.”
“Hello Father.” I answer with excitement and so much love I feel it may overtake me. The love, not the excitement. His love is so thick, I can feel it, so present, I can taste, hear, and even smell it. What does love taste, sound, and smell like? Good! I know, I know. Good doesn’t sound that great, until you remember our big brother Yeshua’s words, “there is none Good but One, and that is God.” He is His love, which means His love is Him, which makes His love good. When you have felt His love, nothing else can ever feel as good. When you taste His love, nothing else you have ever tasted can compare. Cheesecake smothered in hot strawberry sauce topped with homemade whip cream, is no longer good. It’s basic. It’s slightly pleasant to the senses, but it is not longer good, because good is God and cheesecake is not God. Am I making sense? Probably not, but I did say I was excited. Why?
You see, I’m human. I’m human and I am standing in the presence of Love. I haven’t always been human, and one day, I will become again what I once was. You see, I was foreknown! But for right now, I am human, and I am standing in the presence of The Everlasting Father, The Majesty of Heaven, The Creator, and Lover of all that has been, is, and will be. I’m excited because even in this human form, He honors me with His goodness, which is Himself.
Did that answer your question about why I’m excited? Probably not, so I’ll try again.
You see, I’m human, but I wasn’t always. Once, I was glorified. Once, I was free of this flesh suit. One of my favorite human authors calls it a costume. Once, I was... Well, I don’t quit remember, but I wasn’t this. I wasn’t weak and in need of reminders about who I am and who I belong to. Once, I existed so easily in His love. It was beautifully natural and amazingly normal and full of adventure and newness. But, when He came to me and told me that He had sons and daughters who were bound by fear and depression, when He came to me and showed me how much their captivity hurt Him, I asked if there was anything I could do to help those sons and daughters who could not exist in His love like I did. I could not imagine anything worse than existing outside of Him. Now, I don’t have to imagine.
That probably didn’t answer your question about why I’m so excited either. I’m sorry. It’s this flesh suit, this costume. You see, I am a heavenly warrior, or at least I was. I remember that much. Not a warring angel, I wasn’t an angel. I was something more. One day, I will know, but right now, what is important, is that I am no longer that. I am human and I am excited because He has come to strengthen me with His presence so I can go back and fight for His sons and daughters bound by fear and depression. How do I do this? Well, in order to help others to freedom, you must have experienced their prison. Yeshua came and experienced humanity so that He could free humanity. He had to be in the prison of humanity before He could save them, us. Well, I could not help my Father’s other children until I experienced what they did and overcame with His love. I have overcome so many times, but fear and depression are strong, and sometimes, I get weak in this costume and they overtake me. HowdoIgetweak? IforgetwhoIamandwhoIbelongto. I start to think that my identity is this flesh suit. I forget that He is good and start to think cheesecake and television and oxycontin are good again. I forget that my identity is in Him. In His goodness, He comes to remind me when I forget. Then, watch out devil! A human that knows who they are is the most dangerous weapon there is against the kingdom of darkness. I recently forgot, and He brought me here to remind me, to let me exist in His love for a time so that I can have strength for the next tomorrow’s in this flesh suit.
Fear and depression are awful and sometimes, I get mad. Why did He create me if only to suffer with this horrible disease? Then He comes, and I am once again engulfed in His love, and I remember, I volunteered for this!