The Crown
“The Crown. Why do I hide it? No. The question is, “why would I wear it?” Me. The Crown should be worn by the smart, the beautiful, the brave. That’s not me. Why would He give me such a thing? Something so powerful, so beautiful, so amazing, when I’m just me? There is a small still voice that keeps whispering, ‘just ask Him already.’ And then, I hear laughter. The laughter sounds and feels like anticipation, which scares me. I’ve anticipated so much in my life, only to be left disappointed, discouraged, and wallowing in discontent. Ask Him? What if I don’t get the answer I want? No. What if I don’t get the answer I NEED? I’m already down, depressed, and living as the oppressed. If He says what I know I deserve to hear, then I won’t be able to take it! Especially not from Him. I’m used to the derision from others. I can take their distaste and disgust. I couldn’t take it from Him, though. I think it would kill me.
Just ask Him already; ask Me, dear one.”
“Hmmm. That’s different. It’s always, ‘just ask Him.’ Now, it’s, ‘ask Me.’ Wait! Is He the One who’s been talking to me the whole time?! That voice, is Him?
“Is that You?” Doubt fills my voice as I ask. The response? Laughter! Only this time, the fear that was my friend is being replaced by Another. I feel it. Hope. The anticipation that things could change; that I could change.
“Finally, dear one,” the voice whispers, full of love and peace.
Without knowing why, but knowing it was the right thing to do, I close my eyes and open my arms wide. I want that love and peace. I feel vulnerable at first, silly even, but I stand still, ready to receive, hoping to receive. And I’m not disappointed! If feel it. No. Him. I know it’s Him! The love and peace from that voice hits me like a Tsunami. I’m overwhelmed, yet strong. I’m overtaken, yet still left standing.
Finally, I ask the question. He knew that I couldn’t even ask the question without Him giving me the strength to do so. Instead of giving up on a weakling like me, He stayed with me, encouraging me to come to Him. Finally, I ask the question: “why would You give me The Crown? It’s so powerful, so beautiful, so amazing, and I’m not worthy.”
“Who says you’re not worthy?”
For the first time, incased in the love, I hear sternness. I feel like He’s my Great Defender, ready, willing, and able to go after the one that made me feel the way I do about myself. In that moment, guilt invaded the atmosphere of love. I was the one who made me feel the way I feel about myself. I judged myself based on my circumstances and declared myself unworthy.
“I do, Lord,” I cried out, “and I’m sorry, but I’m also confused. I would look ridiculous with this Crown. Everyone knows it!”
“A pauper wearing a crown does look ridiculous, Beloved. But you are no pauper. You just think you are because you won’t wear The Crown. Everyone has one, you know. All of humanity has The Crown, but the choice is yours to put it on or not. You are no pauper, Beloved. You are My child, and I Am Yahweh.”
I fell to my knees at His declaration. “Yahweh.” I breathed out the word and breathed in life. Again, I declared His name, “Yahweh,” and more life filled me. I took out The Crown. How glorious it looked. I wanted to be clothed in it. I wanted it! I was surprised but also ecstatic. “Yahweh,” I breathed again, as I put on The Crown.
I jumped up and ran to my mirror, expecting to see a queen, a glorious daughter staring back at me. Instead, it was just me, and The Crown was gone. Panic was just about to set in, when I felt something on the inside. The best way to describe it was that something came alive in me. I heard, no, I felt the words, “I’m home,” said with such love and joy that I fell to me knees again. I knew without being told that the Crown had changed. It was now, housed inside of me, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it, no, He, would never leave me. Suddenly, the tsunami was back, only this time, it wasn’t an outward experience. No, it happened inward, where He is. I feel His heart kollide with mine, and when I look in the mirror again, I see a daughter staring back at me. I see love and power shining out of my eyes. I feel beautiful. I feel amazing. Because now, I am!
“Yahweh,” I breathe again. “Thank You for The Crown! Putting it on made me worthy in your sight; He made me worthy in your sight. Your son, Yeshua, made me worthy, giving His life for mine. I waited so long, not knowing that He was The Crown, that He was what I needed, and You were so patient with me. How can I thank You?”
“What You felt coming alive in you is My Spirit. He is alive and active in you now. He will lead you, daughter. And when My Son, Yeshua comes back for His Bride, we will all be together forever.”
“I want that more than anything, Yahweh!” I’m surprised at my declaration; even more surprised that I mean it with every ounce of my being.
“No one wants that more than We do, Beloved. The wait might be long, but My Spirit inside of you will keep us connected until then.”
I look back in the mirror. I see The Crown now. I see what I know to be inside of me, with me, and for me. Glory!
ENCOURAGING SCRIPTURES FROM
“You will be a beautiful crown held high in the the hand of Yahweh, a royal crown of splendor held in the open palm of your God. You will never again be called the Abandoned One, nor will your land be called Deserted. But you will be My Delight Is In You, and your land My Beloved Wife, for Yahweh finds His delight in you and He married your land.” Isaiah 62:3-4
“And I will ask the Father and He will give you another Savior, the Holy Spirit of Truth, who will be to you a friend just like Me—and He will never leave you.” John 14:16
“Your hearts can soar with joyful gratitude when you think of how God made you worthy to receive the glorious inheritance freely given to us by living in the light. He has rescued us completely from the tyrannical rule of darkness and has translated us into the kingdom realm of His beloved Son. For in the Son all our sins are canceled and we have the release of redemption through His very blood.” Colossians 1:12-14
“I am sent to announce a new season of Yahweh’s grace and a time of God’s recompense on His enemies, to comfort all who are in sorrow, to strengthen those crushed by despair who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful bouquet in the place of ashes, the oil of bliss instead of tears, and the mantle of joyous praise instead of the spirit of heaviness. Because of this, they will be known as Mighty Oaks of Righteousness, planted by Yahweh as a living display of His glory.” Isaiah 61:2-3
“But when we die we will be face-to-face with Christ, the One who experienced death once for all to bear the sins of many! And now to those who eagerly await Him, He will appear a second time; not to deal with sin, but to bring us the fullness of salvation.” Hebrews 9:28
“Then I saw heaven opened, and suddenly a white horse appeared. The name of the One riding it was Faithful and True, and with pure righteousness He judges and rides to battle. He wore many regal crowns, and His eyes were flashing like flames of fire. He had a secret name inscribed on Him that’s known only to Himself. He wore a robe dipped in blood, and His title is called the Word of God. Following Him on white horses were the armies of heaven, wearing white fine linen, pure and bright. A sharp sword came from His mouth with which to conquer the nations, and He will shepherd them with an iron scepter. He will trample out the wine in the wine press of God. On His robe and on His thigh He had inscribed a name: King of kings and Lord of lords.” Revelation 19:11-16